Spiritual Gems of Elizabeth Ann Seton: Obstacles to an Interior Life
Why is there so little progress in perfection, or rather why are so many tepid, heavy, discouraged, going along more like slaves in a workhouse than children in their own home and the house of their father? Why? Because we do not watch over our interior, do not watch over the impulse of nature and grace in our actions, nor avoid the occasions of the habitual faults in which we live, when it is in our power, or keep a good guard on ourselves when it is not.
Curiosity, too, which keeps us engaged in what is going on, brings home many a foolish companion for our thoughts to break the silence and peace our Lord desires to find in us.
One immortified passion, a single bad habit not corrected, a natural attachment, though innocent as to appearances, will stand like a big stone at the door of our heart and prevent us for whole years from advancing in the kingdom of our Lord.
Self-love does not like to hear it, but our heart is very corrupt and we must do continual violence to it in order to keep it in order.
How can we live an interior life until some of our natural rubbish is removed?
You know how apt your mind is to wander and how easily you are led away by sensible objects. You will never receive any lively impression of grace until you overcome dissipation of mind If you are ever so fervent at your prayers or desire ever so much to be good, it will be like putting so much hartshorn [1] in a bottle and leaving the cork out -- what will it all be worth? So, all your prayers, reading and good works will be to no purpose unless you place a sentinel at the door of your heart and mind.
You often lose in ten minutes by your dissipation of mind, more than you have gained in a whole day of mortification.
We lack courage to keep a continual watch over nature and therefore year after year, with our thousand graces, multiplied resolutions, and fair promises, we run around in a circle of misery and imperfections.
To fall from grace is to deface and disfigure the image of God in our soul.
The less sensible of our misery we are, the greater our evil is; for an immortified soul cannot bear to hear the truth nor to be reproved even for its evident faults; so it remains buried in darkness and the enemy tries to double its blindness. Sick and weak, it scarcely struggles against its imperfections, much less thinks of entering the sanctuary of an interior life.
After a long time in the service of God, we come nearly to the point from which we set out, and perhaps with even less ardor for penance and mortification than when we began our consecration to Him.
Begin again today; what is lost must not cause dejection; what is gained will be lost if you do not begin afresh as if nothing had been done.
One thing I hope you are convinced of, as a wretched sinner know it well, that wherever we meet a little prop of human comfort, there is always some subtraction of the divine. For my part, I am so afraid to cause any such subtraction that I feel a reserve and fear in every human consolation, that makes them more my pains than my pleasure.
Note
- ↑ Hartshorn, also called ammonium carbonate or baker's ammonia, is made from the hartshorn extracted from antlers of deers. It is used for leavening; the leavening is created when it breaks into a gas. It was widely used before baking soda became available and is still used for thin baked goods such as cookies and crackers.
